Depression: the dark monster in your head

Hey yalllllllll. Okay so recently a close friend was diagnosed with depression and bipolar, and whatever transpired during and after that was very surreal. Thought I would share about it (within my means, without the details of the events in respect of my friend and his privacy) because I’ve never gotten this close to the big D (I know some of y’all be thinkin’ dirty, but hey! Back here pls) – Depression, and I feel like my experience with it firsthand would give y’all an idea of what it’s like for someone close to be diagnosed with it – and hopefully if it happens, y’all will be able to better support/empathize with them. (Unlike me, I was such a bad friend 😥 )

Oh – right. So recently a close friend got sick, and it really opened my eyes and heart to things.

What happened was that this close friend wasn’t well (but I hadn’t found out about it yet), and when we met up, he behaved oddly. Well, oddly would be a bit of an understatement – because you see, he’s always been one of the nicest guys I know but that particular day, he was simply being the most obnoxious person around, saying some pretty (very) hurtful and offensive things, ordering me to do stuff in a condescending manner. It was shocking and derogatory – no doubt, but more than anything, it was hurtful.

I got really upset at him and didn’t want to speak to him for the next couple of days… until I found out he was diagnosed with bipolar and depression. Instantly I felt super bad, like omg I’m honestly a horrible friend??? While caught up in feeling sad about myself (lol it sounds pathetic now that I’m typing it out), I forgot to think about him and to find out what really happened that “changed” his behaviour so drastically.

Initially when it happened, I did ask him what was going on, why is he behaving this way, why is he saying such things to me etc, but I guess I was too comfortable settling for his confused answer (confused because he was in a different state of mind with different beliefs and a distorted image of his reality so the “answer” was something another part of him believed was true – and he was really convincing when he shared about it) that I didn’t probe further. But I should have.

I feel like ignorance is really dangerous because if I or anyone for that matter, hadn’t believed in Depression and Bipolar being very real medical issues that people are battling against, we could very easily have discredited a friend or family member’s struggles and simply (and conveniently) break off a treasured tie.

And if it comes to that, piping, “Oh, how I know? I don’t even know depression got so jialat one what” or, “cheh bipolar is just mood swings what right? Aiya I just didn’t want to put up with his/her attitude mah, nothing wrong right?” isn’t going to be enough to salvage a relationship. Because these are arsed comments we hear too often.

Okay okay, not here to lecture, just to share how an unfortunate incident unfolded – no worries, he’s receiving help and hopefully will be better in time to come, and that it doesn’t hurt to be more informed about mental illnesses in general, to be empathetic and conscious of the struggles others close to you may be going through.


Hopping on to the next post to update about work and all!!

P.s… Y’all will never believe what free-lance job I just signed up for over here hahahaha.


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